In another excerpt from my book “How to Cope with The Alcoholic in Your Life”, I talk about the importance of placing yourself first and accepting the fact that you need to help yourself, first before you can help the alcoholic in your life.
We have talked about how you cannot help the Alcoholic in Your Life quit drinking until they want to quit drinking – the keyword being, “want”. Who knows when this time will come?
In the meantime, family members of alcoholics are struggling to deal with their own battles on top of worrying about the alcoholic in their lives, arguing with them and going through very traumatic experiences because of them.
Since we do not know, nor can we tell, when the Alcoholic in Your Life plans on getting help for their addiction, we need to focus on what we do know. We know that you can help yourself now.
In fact, it is easier to help yourself cope with the situation, first, rather than trying to make the alcoholic want to quit drinking or waiting for them to want to quit drinking. This way, you can learn to accept that this situation is out of your control. You can find your own happiness. You can make the situation more tolerable to deal with. You can find the normal you have been searching for.
In order to do this, you need to: Create normal in your life, Organize your priorities and make yourself #1, Never enable the Alcoholic in Your Life, create a Thought journal to sort through your problems, Reinforce the normal in your life, Only help when the Alcoholic in Your Life wants to quit and Look for support from those close to you. Or, you need to take CONTROL of your life and your happiness.
For anyone who has had to deal with an alcoholic in their lives, my book “How to Cope With the Alcoholic In Your Life“, takes you through the steps I have used to help myself overcome the hardship that is having to have an alcoholic in my life. Ever since I found out a way to help myself, I have been excited to share the information with others.
In this book, I discuss ways people can help themselves deal with the emotional roller coaster that comes with having an alcoholic around. I have organized the book into a series of steps that will help you make yourself happier in the process of finding ways to deal with the alcoholic in your life, instead of obsessing about trying to make the alcoholic in your life quit drinking.
Over the course of the past few years dealing with the alcoholic in my life, I have picked up a few things along the way that has helped me better cope with my situation. I have learned to help myself stay focused on the things that I can control instead of draining my energy and resources on the things that I can not control.
I learned that the one thing that I can not control are the actions and decisions of someone else. In this case, I can not control the drinking habits of my father and I cannot persuade him to stop drinking either. What I can control is how I handle the situations involving my father when he is drinking.
For example, I can choose to remove myself from any negative conversations such as the drunken text messages that I have received. I have made it clear to myself that I will not put up with his drinking on any level and have made a commitment that I will not let his destructive ways interfere with my life.
From my experiences, I have vowed to help others, like me, deal with the alcoholic in their lives. If you would like to learn more about the methods I have adopted to help myself deal with my father, you can check out my book, “How to Cope With the Alcoholic in Your Life“.