Tag Archives: drink

Going Out of Town…Not!

My extended family did not know, or acted like they did not know my father had a big problem.  The just thought he drank a few beers a day.  I always wondered why they never questioned why my father would never come around anymore and why he did not talk to them often.  There was one point where he had talked to my aunt.  She had asked him to go visit my grandfather (who lives in another state) with her.

In a sober second, he told me about it and said he was excited to go because he has not seen my grandpa in a couple of years.  My father seemed pretty adamant about going and I thought that FINALLY I would get a break from the tension he created throughout the day.

About a week before he was due to leave for his out of state trip.  I had noticed my father had cut down his drinking dramatically.  He was still drinking for the majority of the day, but not as heavily as his norm.  The day before he was supposed to leave, he claimed he had gotten one of his infamous “migraines”.  He told my aunt he was not able to go because he would could not ride in a car with such a pain in his head.  So, instead of seeing his father he had not seen in years, he stayed home to drink away his migraine.


First Week Back

The first day my mother was gone, I thought for sure this would be the day my father started to drink again.  But, he seemed to be pretty active.  He not only cleaned the house, but he was whistling while he cleaned.  I told my girlfriend, I was surprised because I have not heard him whistle in a very long time.  I thought this could be a good sign.

After he cleaned, he went shopping to buy all the things he claimed he needed when he was out of state.  Including, a few items of clothing, a new wireless router for his computer and some other toiletries he needed at home.   I remember thinking to myself “aand he needed all of this when he was gone? These items were the necessities that he demanded he needed to buy?  What would he have done with his wireless router in a different state?”

Oh yeah, there was one more thing he bought on his “shopping spree”: a 6-pack of beer.  Of course, I did not notice he bought the beer because it must have been hidden.  I did not notice the beer in the fridge until the next morning when I saw an empty beer bottle and 5 beers in the fridge.  Just as I was about to have some inkling of faith in my father, he went and did something like this.  Of course he waited until my mom could not turn around to com back and pick him up.

Anyway, I figured, it was just one beer.  My girlfriend had a different opinion.  She told me not to get my hopes up and that one beer will turn into more.  While in the back of my mind, I knew this was more than likely the outcome of the week, I still tried to be optimistic – this was on a Monday – I thought I would watch what my dad’s next move was throughout the week.

On Tuesday, I found that my father was spending his time between applying for jobs and watching TV.  This day, he drank 2 beers.

Wednesday, he drank 3 beers – the 6 pack was gone and he did not refill it until Thursday.

Thursday, my father bought a 15 pack of beer.  Out of this case, he drank 4….are you starting to see a pattern here?


An Explanation

When I asked my father if any day was a good day, I also asked what would happen when I lived there…would it be a good day for me to live there?  Will I have to leave if it is a bad day?  He replied, “no, I guess not” and after that, he never talked about good or bad days again, so I thought that maybe he reconsidered.  However, the next time I came over to bring some things, he sat my girlfriend and I down give us an explanation about his “migraines” were and how they made him feel.

Like we had not heard this before, we sat down and talked to him for a few hours about how his “migraines” would hurt so bad that he could not sleep or do anything all day because they made him incapable of performing any “basic task” (as he put it).  He then told us that that is the reason why he has to drink, not only because the “migraines” are so bad but because the medicine his doctor gave him does not work .

He then proceeded to explain to us about how he had such a tough life and was going through a tough time right now because of things that had happened in his life.  He mostly spoke of the past and his relationships with others in my family.  It seemed to me that he was stretching the truth a little too thin and was exaggerating everything to the fullest extent.  To be honest,  he was being pretty over-dramatic with everything he talked about.  It was like he wanted me to feel sorry for him and accept his drinking.