For several years, I have been dealing with my father, the alcoholic in my life. This has been an experience unlike any other. I have never had to deal with anything like this before and was unprepared and lost when the everyday situations I had to face started to become more permanent.
When things started to get consistently worse, I realized how completely disturbing it was to see him the way that he was and still is to this day. It is shocking to see how he acts so different and how I can no longer see my father inside.
At the same time, I realized how his addiction started to affect me in a negative way. I felt angry, upset, hurt, scared, embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed, you name it! I was emotionally drained. So, I took a look at my situation and realized his problem was starting to affect my life, as well as other family members around him that knew about his condition.
I feel like I have been to hell in back with my father and his drinking addiction. So, after many arguments, hearing him talk badly about others that I love, and many attempts of trying to talk to my father about his problem, all I got from him was: “I drink because I drink”. Unacceptable.
I searched the internet high and low trying to find ways to help my father quit drinking. I even tested out a few theories that I found, but still “I drink because I drink” he told me. I finally gave in, all I could think is “oh great, this does not look like this is ending soon”.